Between The Intermissions
Finally finished a painting
"An Intermission"
Oil on Canvas
30 x 30 x 3/4 inches
I will put a finishing varnishing coat when it's time in a month or so, and it is finished.
This is my latest and fist black and white window painting. For a better image please make appointment for a studio, or please go visit my website, I will update sometime soon. In the near future.
Is your memory in black and white, or in color? Do you see your dream in color or monochrome? Black and white that we see is something manmade, but many creatures on this planet see the world naturally in black and white. Do you remember the colors, or do you remember the shapes, do you remember something else like smells and warmth? Black and white itself has meaning to us. We can discover it together as I will be working on a few more black and white window paintings. In ending of this blog I will leave a short writing.
-------
Living in New York City as an artist is tough, one after another and anoter, there are problems coming up and taking time for making away..., but there is no other place like here that, in this city art is a puzzle piece that is making city rolling it. I feel I am not alone here even if how long hours I stay in my studio painting.
There is nothing to complain in the end, I am alive and I am still in right place for doing my job: making my art. But is there anything wrong to say I want to go back to my family and friends in Japan? I do understand why people, especially Japanese people, leave here after a while and go back to their home. But I also have seen that that is when they stop doing something.
Let's say, moving is not that problem. Finding another studio is not that impossible. Don't worry it is maybe simple and not that difficult..
I just have to shut up and handle it and figure it out for the best.
But what makes me nervous and sad is to leave people I finally getting to know slowly.
It just makes me sad because I really like the people and the community and the vibes.
As someone fellows have said: "you are not a real New York artist until you get kicked out of the studio building." That's right. (By the way it is technically not the very first time for me,)
But the point is that this is very new york that artists go through and this is what it means being New York artist.
I wonder if we can do temporary farewell party in August.
I think I just fined my bike's flat tires a few days ago for going to beach and for studio viewings, everything happens in perfect timing. scary?
By the way, I was planning to visit Paris France in August, I think it is officially postponed just today.
Maybe oysters are telling me to come when its season begin.
---
ところで、高校の頃から好きなバンドがアルバムを出して、久しぶりにその中から特に鳥肌のた
ITunesで日本の曲とかアルバムとかをアメリカのアカウントで
ところで、One day っていう言葉を書くたびに、One Day というタイトルの映画を思い出すの。いつまでこんな風に一つのことを思い出すことがあるんだろう。それがいい影響でも例え悪い影響でも誰かにとってそんな作品を作る人間になるのは、作り手にとっては自分勝手であろうとも本望なものだ。
---
I like writing. Writing is something I enjoy, and helps me to make structure for my art, and describe myself better in writing than talking.
Everyday I take many notes that do not go out to the world because they are kept for my book that I want to put together someday. Will you be a reader like you are for this blog, when it is out to the world someday? Even if you have no idea what is the writings are about.
To close this blog, I will leave a short personal writing of mine I wrote a while ago, that does not really relate to this painting directly, but there is still something, maybe you can find your own connections between them.
Thank you for people who has been reading my posts. I always look through all the comments that are posted. No questions may be answered on this blog post.
This blog will be the last one for July. See you soon in August.
---------
Did we become something warm if we did not fall apart
Could I do something, just anything for you, if you, for me, have let me do
You wanted to hear me say please do not go
but you did not give me a chance
I do not like to think about what if
no it is not waste of time
but anything about another side
I do not know
I like to think that
we are still together in a way, that we decided this.
Now it is sometimes difficult to think that way
because you are grey and white and light as ash
Like the ash that fell from the cigarettes you smoked when you were without us
You are like the ash that I haven't touched yet
I do not know when I would be able to make it fall on my hand, I worry that life is too short that
my hands may become ash before I can finally touch your shadow
We were just kids, but if you decided this I want to take part in it and will say I did too
I think I will do that because I know you knew that I will do that when you decided it
but who should we tell this
when we cannot see the enemy
Our parents, teachers, friends, strangers and strangers
I think I am still a kid because I still haven't figured out who was our enemy
I think I am still a kid because I want to deny any of them to be our enemy
Things that did not happen is eternal in our mind
but I adore small things that happened between us more than anything we could have had.
I miss you
If I could tell you this then I will give away everything I have without hesitation
I wanted you to take everything from me if that helped you stay
just try
That is the only thing I can complain to you
I have a strange desire that one day someone will take everything away from me
and with that they will be able to find their happiness and eternal heaven
Maybe then I could finally find you again in a place
I did not know
----------
All images and my writings are subject to copyright © 2019 Natsumi Goldfish