Atelier Update May 26: An Endless Question, Temporary Many Right Answers
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| Painting in Progress May 26. |
I hope you are doing well, no matter where you are reading this from.
Lately, I have been thinking about relationships between people. I feel those who constantly talk to us, whether it is in person or in message, are the ones who actually are in our life, who we should also care about.
If we are talking or interacting now only once in a few months, while we already know each other, chances are that we are still not talking next year, no more than now. The time and heart we can spend on each other now is what it is really worth, and I started to re-recognize this instead of wondering and dreaming about the future. Pausing once, and trying to have a clear view. Life is short when we are actively living. Life is short because something that already exists has only two futures, still present in the next moment or not.
Besides my wishes and ideals, I always try to see the best part of my situation. And I'm glad to live in this somewhat stressful situation where I'm, as an expat, always reminded from many directions that my life here may or may not last, and it could change at any moment.
If I didn't live in a country I chose and stayed where I was born, I wouldn't have this way of seeing my own attitude towards the act of living. And I feel the artwork that comes from me isn't as much worth seeing as it is.
It is not about asking or forcing one to pay attention to another but to observe what he or she is naturally spending their heart and time and energy with or for. It shouldn't be made by being forced it is more about the deep organic desires in each person and energy flow.
I mean, I think you might start talking to someone who you haven't been in touch with for a long while, let's say next year. Which is totally possible. And let's say it's about you and me. But the problem here is that there is no promise in our lives that both or all of us are here next year for sure.
So, people we naturally, or by effort, communicate with quite often are clearly in our lives in this sense.
I know this is a very practical way of thinking. Perhaps when my situation changes, I value different ways again too, like in the past. Just lately, I have felt this way very much. I don't know what it indicates about me fully yet.
It is very important that I keep asking myself many questions, including this one, in order to make my unique artwork. Not every artist needs to think endlessly like I do in order to make their unique artwork or have their unique life/personality. My art really comes from my tendency to think constantly and almost too much, or my personality as a whole.
What I just wanted to say is that I really appreciate those of you who keep communicating with me in some ways continuously, and I am surprised that you are even taking time to read this. I hope it was something meaningful for you to read.
I have several paintings in my mind and while I'm still developing them in my head this year, I think I will make really good works at a new scale or level. I don't know how you could explain it.
Have a great May and see you soon with my art update or exhibition reviews.
-Natsumi Goldfish
