Ownership of A Bird Nest: Whose bird nest is it?
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| Under The New Moon, featured in Saatchiart website |
7.22.2020
The rain wants me to stay where I am. Maybe I will listen to it and finish this short blog.
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8.4.2020
待って、少し深呼吸、一番最近からはじめよう
But wait, take a deep breath, and
let's start from the most recent.
When I see seagulls in the city, they make me stop and happy. I admire that birds (must) fly independently and they soar high in the sky fearlessly.
Maybe they came straight from Rockaway Beach because I said I miss it. I miss the taste of ocean.
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A week ago from 7.22.2020There is a bird nest on a tree right outside my house that I haven't seen the babies yet but the parents.
Parents don't live in the nest, they made the nest for their babies. I think the parents are only active in day time, I haven't seen them at night. But parents made the nest so it's their unsigned work.
There is also a cat looking at outside from inside window from next next building of my house. The cat, opposite form their birds, I have seen it only at night. I haven't seen any people inside the window only the one cat.
There is a sign in the same window that I don't like, it makes me sad, but I like the cat a lot.
Both the sign and the cat, I cannot touch.
But the cat will see me and communicates with me in its way, and reacts as I move.
The sign just stay there.
While I wonder if a bird nest belongs to the babies or the parents, some people might say it belongs to where the tree belongs, the land owner or the city. Usually birds don't need the nest after babies leave.
It's very humanly idea yet only people ask such question also, as long as I know. The parents do the maintenance. The tree protects the structure from wind and direct sunlight. It's the babies who are mainly using it, yet it is not their choice. A bird nest also still part of the nature where the parent birds collected the materials.
In the end, I think bird nest belongs to nowhere. I question the importance of ownership to us.
It has been one of the reasons of wars. It has been reasons of happiness and sadness of human being.
So how do you think,
whose land is this place?
whose view is it from the window?
whose painting is a painting I made?
My personal answer is that I love the fact that painting I make, I own non of them. That is one reason I love making, it is very similar reason for me about taking care of animals and plants.
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| Work in Progress painting, picture shot early July 2020 |
7.23.2020
One reason why I say art saved me,
One day someone stopped in front of my painting in a small solo show at a restaurant in Philadelphia, and suddenly started to cry. Later she told me the painting released something in her that has been trapping her heart. To me the painting was about the mysterious joy that one can have with their time alone by themselves, so it was not my intention. Something she has been struggling with, I did not ask what it was. She saw my art and cried, and that saved my heart.
But that moment, I found something I can contribute to the world, to the people today to people I live at the same moment. She made me stay, what she received made me stay as an artist, and I finally found something that connects and communicates me to the world. It was one small moment that this world reacted to me.
It's a task for all of us to find something we can do. We are all in a maze until then. Being in a maze is a struggle, I know for my own experience, and I know for having to see someone very close to me struggled.
In this modern world, you are born who you are, but you also have to find it again and chose to become it in the process of growing, but we know when we finally find a way out from the maze, we realize that it is the beginning.
I feel I must remember the affect one piece of painting can deliver to someone directly in their immediate life. As an artist, I cannot dismiss such special trait or magic my work can have. And that, in the end, might be a way that really have affect to this society, one person is connected to other people and the mass is the society. Giving an artwork ability to find one connection and ability to survive, is probably what we need to do with the best of own ability as artists.
Because this past year and this pandemic made me forget whom I am making work because the world has been so confusing and chaotic and mentally violent. We still don't know the enemy we are facing.
What has been making us feel so wrong and unhealthy inside? It drains our energy and spirits when we cannot see the problem in front of us clearly. Any problem we encounter, we cannot just solve with our vision so blur, we need to see the problem, and we need to be able to imagine people as we know and to imagine the better world clearly.
Imagine, otherwise our intentions and messages in our work also become too blurry to see or feel for others. Without imagination and artist's mind, such object made from such blur vision does not function as good nutritions to our mind, and artist can force people to see them by creating them. It is not discussed much in this society yet but I think creating such object is a new shape of violence and weakness of contemporary humans. As art progress we need to progress our discussion, and we need to progress ourselves.
Any time in history, until today, art is only made for humans, by humans.
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| Drawinf "Regeneration" in Flatfile 8x8 Flatfile Gallery show. |
Even the bible.., which is controversial to bring up as an example of art yet, it was written and it has been speaking to so many people's souls so strongly for so many years, because it was very intentionally written for people (by people) who really live and exist. It wasn't created randomly by chance, it was deliberately created for the real people in the creators' mind. The author(s) was very realistic in terms of knowing its audience.
Only human can make work that speaks so deeply to other human beings that exist and are trying to live. Besides nature, because they are fundamentally different.
I think this is something aevery creator needs to keep it in the very heat of their mind.
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| A Big Right Eye, Oil on Panel, 5"x7", 2018 (I think) It's still with me. |
date un noted
Deadline is firm, while we are not.
A paused painting for at least over a half month or closer to a month now. The biggest concern in my mind. It has been following me whispering alarming me.
One good thing in this horrible mess I know is that this painting will be a great one once it is finished.
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There are progresses, yet not everything.
My bike is funeral(broken) and I am not ready to dump it yet, plans being canceled, unstable homesick stays, yet it sounds contrally but my visa is expiring and I truly want to stay here, things falling apart with global pandemic, as I had a bit too much of friends and people I know leaving from the city, and more emotionally tough things this past months, it's like your heart is in a cocktail shaker.
I don’t think I can commit to leave one more thing I am attached to anytime soon
Thus bike stays.
After its disfunction, I discovered that it is still functioning for me. So we still have a mutral relationship.
I hope nobody minds if I kept my broken* bike for more while unspecified, un-promised.
From this bike I learned something new, being broken is also something that is on your own terms.
Yes I know it is still broken for other people's eyes.
By it being there it makes me feel so secure. I like it for knowing the details, how it came to me, how long it has been with me, how heavy it is, how it used to be in different colors, how lucky it is that no one stole it until today even if I left it frequently outside and sometimes unlocked.
I wonder if New York City will go back to before, maybe but not exactly, people are missing.
Would I still love New York City, most likely yes.
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Another thing that starts with the letter b that I started to do more often after lock down in mid March..., baking.
I like baking, not to the point to become a patissier. It is more personal.
It is something my mother and I did together when I was a little girl.
It also helps me feel good that while it doesn't require me a lot of time, I can see the finished goods (in pretty shapes) same day in a few hours.
We need to follow the specific measurement which is different from cooking, but as long as we follow the recipe the result also follows. But this is where I am forced to notice difference between countries that use pounds and kilograms. I'm glad that my country uses
It is nice to have something we can do that is insured to make you feel good.
Back to basics, as someone said. I don't know if baking is my basic but I had it was part of my everyday life, when I was still living fully protected. When I never doubt that my parents are the perfect humans which I was not yet because I did not know the world outside my home.
Maps and numbers and clocks though, still they aren't made for me just like when I was a child.
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One day in mid July
I started to see beautiful light in the sky.
I almost didn’t come back last night, then at 6am I realized that my laptop is at home.
I need it for my work.
Plan changed.
-----
Home for me for now is the home I live now. It has been difficult to control my living situation..., but
let's hope that this time it will be my home for long time.
After its disfunction, I discovered that it is still functioning for me. So we still have a mutral relationship.
I hope nobody minds if I kept my broken* bike for more while unspecified, un-promised.
From this bike I learned something new, being broken is also something that is on your own terms.
Yes I know it is still broken for other people's eyes.
By it being there it makes me feel so secure. I like it for knowing the details, how it came to me, how long it has been with me, how heavy it is, how it used to be in different colors, how lucky it is that no one stole it until today even if I left it frequently outside and sometimes unlocked.
I wonder if New York City will go back to before, maybe but not exactly, people are missing.
Would I still love New York City, most likely yes.
---
Another thing that starts with the letter b that I started to do more often after lock down in mid March..., baking.
I like baking, not to the point to become a patissier. It is more personal.
It is something my mother and I did together when I was a little girl.
It also helps me feel good that while it doesn't require me a lot of time, I can see the finished goods (in pretty shapes) same day in a few hours.
We need to follow the specific measurement which is different from cooking, but as long as we follow the recipe the result also follows. But this is where I am forced to notice difference between countries that use pounds and kilograms. I'm glad that my country uses
It is nice to have something we can do that is insured to make you feel good.
Back to basics, as someone said. I don't know if baking is my basic but I had it was part of my everyday life, when I was still living fully protected. When I never doubt that my parents are the perfect humans which I was not yet because I did not know the world outside my home.
Maps and numbers and clocks though, still they aren't made for me just like when I was a child.
 |
| Cheesecake, (I didn't make cheesecake with my mother but she likes it.) |
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One day in mid July
I started to see beautiful light in the sky.
I almost didn’t come back last night, then at 6am I realized that my laptop is at home.
I need it for my work.
Plan changed.
-----
Home for me for now is the home I live now. It has been difficult to control my living situation..., but
let's hope that this time it will be my home for long time.
I admire birds, maybe one day, I can get closer. But for now let's appreciate that we aren't birds.
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I hope that you are embracing the beginnig of August.
August is to me, the real summer.
P.S. Shall we forget everything else and think about what we want to do, what we want to make, what makes us happy, who make us happy to be with, (and yes for me what I want to paint), that's what we need.
There is no such thing as "too lebarated to be" in my dictionary yet.
--
I hope that you are embracing the beginnig of August.
August is to me, the real summer.
P.S. Shall we forget everything else and think about what we want to do, what we want to make, what makes us happy, who make us happy to be with, (and yes for me what I want to paint), that's what we need.
There is no such thing as "too lebarated to be" in my dictionary yet.
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