Time: Guide of The Uncontrolled





Hello Friend,
Let's take a walk, 

This might be your dream and your reality when you wake up might be middle of war, when everything is chaos and corrupted. Your reality might be that you are together with someone else, you might have found out that you are in jail not for your fault.

How do you think,
how could it be possible that, first, this is your dream, and secondly that, it is better than your real life?

Let's stay in this dream if you like it here better, well, is it possible? to stay in a dream for the rest of ur lives?
We start to think abuot dream seriously when we are ones who see dreams frequently and that impacts our real life. For me dreams has been huge part of my life, I learn things there, I experience things there, I meet people there, and I fight with things and cry and argue with people there.

There are many happy dreams, then there are very sad and scary dreams. There are dreams that I experience the same thing in real life, too.
I do believe in dreams because it is reflection of the real life. It is more less biased than my mind awake. I get comfused with concept of time often because of my dreams.

----------------------

On May 20

I cannot believe I missed that my favorite musician released her new song little over a month ago.
I just found it out today by looking her name up.

What has happened in the mast months, I re-wonder.
I certainly looked up more internet, for news, for local and japanese news, and other countries. I spent more time on internet that I could have learn this big news if the media was to talk about.

News has been filled with coronavirus related topics, art market and art writings are too, our everyday living has been guided by the covid-19 pandemic.

I also had a big time travel reading a book about time travel, but I did not know that I did a time trip for like a month in my real life?

Soon we will see 'no more mask', 'no more quarantine' 'happy outside' art and images everywhere. It will be next trend and short-lived art movement following the pandemic art. It is an easy-to-dictate next trend and I have seen it in my mind already. When it actually comes, I will be already bored of it.

I think I will finish this blog aorund here for today, and get back and let new painting making going. A painting that is something more, something more than just a surface that you or someone will see and feel and experience  what I put in.

------------------------
Memory Factory 2020

On May 22 (23) after midnight

I just finished reading 6th book last night.
I have been lucky that all of the six books were amazing and educational to my specific demands.
Four of them came from my book shelf where I have many more unread books. Two of them came from my friends who read the book before and thought I would like them too. They let me borrow and they were right.

The last book was especially good, it had more story that is physical and the shared memories of the girls were soft and fragile to the owners.
The Key Is Lost, that is the title of the book and written by Ida Vos. You can find out the story if you are interested in, but it is about two Jewish girls in world war II.

Stated that it is a fiction, yet it is a story based on the authors experiences. This book cannot be just a fiction out of pure imagination. I saw some magic in this book. But I think only girls, only women understand and feel the half of the magic while the rest is universal.

It was so beautiful and so unevenly painted that it must came from one's real experience from one's point of view. Even though it is a very sad story, even if nothing like it must never happen again, it raise a desire in me that this story was a real story, closer to the real experience and less of imagination. I know, I am saying somthig awful, and something illogical. I feel it was a real story, real story written from memory of a girl.

The way Vos wrote the two girl's experiences, memories, how mind of young girls works, how some important memory fades, how things happens unlogically, it is so natural and real.

This book came to me maybe somewhere 1~3 years ago. I mainly kept it for its cover and title, but the story was the real treasure. No wonder it is selected as scholastic book here in NYC. I wish if someday I could make it to be a required book in japanese schools like Anne Frank's.

This book was owned by someone named Reina M. before me, and probably free for a good home when it came to me. I am guessing because I cannot remember exactly where I got it, it is too beaten up to be sold at used book stores where usually I get some dead stock books. I think I have a few more book with her name written on the cover somewhere.

I have yet decided which book I am going to read next, but I know that any of them in my shelf will be good one for it, probably the last book during the quarantine in NYC.

The book is in my new painting(progress) now.

---------------------------
Work in progress painting in a gif

My mother tells me everytime when I report her that I saw a big bee(bee or wasp), that the best way to stay safe from any bee when you encounter them, is to stay calm and slowly and quietly leave the space, and let the bee alone.
But how can I tell that to my little bird when the bee is in my place? to stay calm and don't flap?
I hope no bee will be interested in bothering a bird in her cage.

-----------
Cat in A Dream 2020

"No you don't have any law in your backyard." I said to myself this morning, strolling the little garden  with overgrown weeds.

If you claim that you are not human anymore from today, if you decide to become something else but human, do you think you still have to follow the human rules and laws?
Say, one day you decide to live as a rabbit,
Or you decide to be a dog with an owner (human),
Or a cat that is half wild.

Maybe you will avoid the income tax at least, but you must go to an animal hospital in staed of human's.
Do you think someone will file a lawsuit they will take it(the rabbit) to a trial in court for some human rules that the rabbit broke, because the rabbit looks like human?

If you could have your own law in your garden, what would you say?
Maybe I will say someting about bee and wasps and human agreement.

--------------------
Overthinking 2020, in a private collection
280 days since studio moving, my calendar on my phone screen says.
A day is short, 24 hours is long, a year is long, 365 days is short. April is short because spring is short, but probably this spring was a little different, maybe slightly longer for you too, wasn't it?

Part of my life is always uncontrolled, part of your life is also always uncontrolled and untouched by you.


Comments